Stephanie Moreland
Professional Writer & Photographer

After being back in the states for almost two months, I find myself buried deep below the same kind of responsibilities and projects that have stunted my writing in the past....or should I say those responsibilities and projects that I have allowed (in the past) to stunt my writing. I don't mean my "job writing"--I mean my "heart writing". "Heart writing" is the stuff of authenticity--the stuff that comes from the heart (which naturally is never the kind of writing I get paid for). I really miss my "heart writing". Call me cheesy, call it a cliché, but "heart writing" is the writing that comes from the soul and this kind of writing seems to have eluded me these days.

Dozens of pitches have been sent to editors of various publications in my attempt to try to sell such-and-such article about such-and-such unforgettable winery that I found on my journey to Europe or such-and-such volunteer project that was in such-and-such exotic place. But there is so much more to this story, and quite frankly, I'm growing weary of trying to sell stories that don't tell people what they really want to know. These stories don't tell people what they should know, or more importantly, what they should feel which is.....well, anything. People should feel something when they read---that's what made me fall in love with reading in the first place---and eventually writing. And I have learned to face something about my "job writing": My heart and soul are not reflected in it. This is why it is "job writing" and not "heart writing".

There are several truths that I have discovered about the writing world since I have been paid for my work and can now be considered a "real" writer. (1) It seems like I spend more time pitching and less time writing. (2) The more you get published, the more you feel that you must be published, and therefore the pressure to be published more increases to the point of ridiculous. (3) The paying writing gigs are usually the ones that require the least amount of creativity, heart, and soul. (4) The more you begin to get paid for your writing, the more you begin to dislike writing itself. Ask any writer, and I am confident that they would agree on at least a few of my depressing "writing truths".

I don't want to paint an entirely ugly picture, though. I am blessed to be where I am in my career. Public relations, business, and travel writing have provided me with structure, an opportunity to practice my craft, excitement at times, experience to put on my resume, and most (or perhaps least) of all money, and I am grateful for having all of these opportunities. I have decided, however, to reclaim the joy that I used to find in writing. I have come to the conclusion that the only way for me to do this is to sit down and write whatever the hell I feel like writing without worrying about which editor at which publication will buy it (or at least be nice enough to send me an email rejection), who will read it (or just ignore it), and whether or not I will be paid in a timely manner (or actually be paid at all).

I have made the decision to begin reclaiming my joy in writing by talking about my trip to Europe. I mean really talking about it---about why I decided to go, about what happened while I was there, and about what has happened since. I might skip all of the facts, figures, geographic locations, and "flashy trashy" touristy highlights. I would like to tell the story of how I hit a brick wall, found the strength to climb up it, and got to see the view from the top. It's a story about how my life has changed and will forever be changed because I took this journey to Europe---and this journey into the depths of my soul.

The best is yet to come....

 

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